March Update/Links/Screenshots

I got diagnosed with ADHD this month. This will likely come as no surprise to anyone who knows me even a little bit - I've already been getting treated for it on and off for the last few years, and given my entire deal it's not a terribly shocking development. They had me fill out a survey about how often I forget things and how much my struggles with executive function cause me difficulty in my personal life ("Highly Agree" in both cases) and then do the Conners Continuous Performance Test, where various letters flash on the screen at different speeds and you are supposed to press the spacebar after every letter except X. This was maybe the most frustrating test I've ever taken in my life but I guess it helped them ensure that I have problems with impulsivity and inattention.

The DSM is fake, everything is comorbid with everything else, and the last thing in the world I want is to become someone who defines themselves by their mental illness, but I do have to say it's a bit of a load off to have it in writing. I have some external validation that I'm not just lazy or faking it somehow. I wish I were better at being kind to myself and others without stuff like this - ideally, compassion shouldn't require a doctor's note - but that does not come naturally. So for now it's a relief to be able to say that not all of my problems can be chalked up to moral failure.

Anyway. Since my last update, we declared war on Iran, NYC got buried in snow, and the battle for AI's soul continued apace. Other than the snow, these things have filled me with a mix of guilt and dread, about which I am unclear what to do. The first anniversary of my mom's death passed. I went down to Pittsburgh to visit her grave and in a very on-brand development for mom a windstorm blew the power out for 24 hours. I attended my first Shendi in LA, which was a beautiful experience.

In this time I have continued to put most of my writing energy into teaching and endless drafts of a post-Opus 4 State of AI post that I still can't nail down ("what if thing good, but also bad" is the gist of it).

Some interesting stuff I read during that period:

• Dwarkesh on the DoD/Anthropic fight - this dude becoming the Silicon Valley whisperer is still a very strange, come-out-of-nowhere story, but he at least seems fairly thoughtful about the people he's interviewing and this historical moment? I'm not really sold either way on private vs. public ownership of AI, but this is a compelling case against public ownership, and I certainly don't trust this governmentwith it.
• Learn to Code vs. Code to Learn - this puts a nice point on some themes I've been struggling with in my own teaching, around why and how to learn to code in a world where Claude can do most of it for you. My general position is that craft gives life meaning: I don't particularly care if you decide you don't like writing code, but you should care enough about something not to let AI do it for you.
• Child's Play - an as-usual soul-crushing piece on SF, AI, and These Times from Sam Kriss. Roy Lee is quickly becoming my personal bete noir - every time I'm reminded of his existence I question whether the species deserves to exist.

Screenshots:

It is my hope that, between finally being able to get ADHD medication again and exiting the darkest doldrums of winter, I'll get some more momentum on writing and creative projects in the next few months. But before that I have to pass four different certification exams for work and jump through a number of medical hoops to deal with my non-brain problems. Here's to being kind to ourselves in the meantime.