lesser daemon (Page 7)

16

Mar

Goodnight, mom.

My mom died on Thursday night. There was a blood moon. She would have loved it. Whole thing was pretty on brand for her all things considered.

When I was in middle school my mom found my Livejournal where I complained about her and my family and also wrote about various Star Wars and Lord of the Rings minutiae. Ever since then I've been reticent to talk about my family or personal life online. I guess the good news is she can't get mad at me for it anymore.

(Also I did ask her if she was comfortable with me

2 min read

01

Mar

You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice

It's been 20 days since I found out (secondhand) that my mom was in the hospital. 18 days since she called and told me that she had decided to stop cancer treatment and enter hospice care, and I drove from New York to Charlottesville as fast as I could. 12 days since I drove to West Virginia to pick up her stuff. 10 days since my partner and sister-in-law drove her to Pennsylvania. 5 days since we got her into her own apartment. 1 day since I flew back to New York and slept in my own bed for the

3 min read

15

Feb

Addressing The Pause In Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

I was exactly a quarter of the way through my hundred days of writing last Saturday. The week since has been, bar none, the worst week of my entire life.

I am not comfortable going into specific detail right now, but a close family member is in the process of dying. I found this out last weekend, made a marathon drive down to see them on Monday, and have spent the week discovering just how hard it is to die with dignity in America.

I had assumed that "going into hospice" meant there was a place you could go where

3 min read

08

Feb

Between Curiosity and Despair

A friend asked me recently what I'd do if with my time if money and the endless obligations of attempting to maintain a middle-class lifestyle weren't a problem anymore. I had had a few drinks surprised myself by saying that I'd just like to spend time learning things. This is one of those good conversation starters that actually cuts to the core of somebody, and while I think at a surface level of thought I'd say something like "make the world a better place" or "make great art" or whatever, on some instinctual level the thing I like most in

4 min read

07

Feb

2/7 Link Roundup

It's Friday, my dudes. It has been an extremely long week in the world and for me, so here's some links I enjoyed this week.

Despair-Driven Development - Makes the argument for despair as a driver for positive change, since action gives you respite from it. My personal experience of despair in the workplace has not been that it makes me more productive, but I guess I have occasionally been motivated to do things out of sheer spite. Worth considering.

Dither Me This - Fun little web dithering tool. This is probably going on the long list of "cool graphics

2 min read