100days - lesser daemon (Page 5)

21

Mar

I Don't Like Leaving Things Unfinished

Five weeks ago, when I found out my mom was in the hospital, I was exactly 25 days into the hundred days straight of writing I had committed to. Obviously I, uh, did not keep up with it after that.

I do not feel particularly bad about taking a break while I was dealing with this. I did a lot of journaling during this time and while it was valuable for me I don't know how much good it would do for my broader writing goals to post the equivalent of a primal scream on my public blog every day.

1 min read

20

Mar

I would prefer not to

I would like to imagine that a world where there is less paperwork is possible. I don't think that's asking for too much. Or maybe just where there's like. A number you can call to tell them someone died. And they do all the paperwork for you.

The promise of AI or LLMs or whatever new tech there is has always seemed to me to be built on faulty priors. They are a great way to automate this type of thing I guess but it all seems to assume that a world with this much paperwork is a necessity or

2 min read

16

Mar

Goodnight, mom.

My mom died on Thursday night. There was a blood moon. She would have loved it. Whole thing was pretty on brand for her all things considered.

When I was in middle school my mom found my Livejournal where I complained about her and my family and also wrote about various Star Wars and Lord of the Rings minutiae. Ever since then I've been reticent to talk about my family or personal life online. I guess the good news is she can't get mad at me for it anymore.

(Also I did ask her if she was comfortable with me

2 min read

01

Mar

You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice

It's been 20 days since I found out (secondhand) that my mom was in the hospital. 18 days since she called and told me that she had decided to stop cancer treatment and enter hospice care, and I drove from New York to Charlottesville as fast as I could. 12 days since I drove to West Virginia to pick up her stuff. 10 days since my partner and sister-in-law drove her to Pennsylvania. 5 days since we got her into her own apartment. 1 day since I flew back to New York and slept in my own bed for the

3 min read

08

Feb

Between Curiosity and Despair

A friend asked me recently what I'd do if with my time if money and the endless obligations of attempting to maintain a middle-class lifestyle weren't a problem anymore. I had had a few drinks surprised myself by saying that I'd just like to spend time learning things. This is one of those good conversation starters that actually cuts to the core of somebody, and while I think at a surface level of thought I'd say something like "make the world a better place" or "make great art" or whatever, on some instinctual level the thing I like most in

4 min read